What's on Page 11 This Week? - Part 2

Well, the papers have been most interesting since our last similar post.  Below are the top three more recent and most amusing factoids we’ve learned from our Daily Metro and the Evening Standard.  Though not all have appeared specifically on page 11, as we read them, we must constantly remind ourselves that these items deserve column space on some level…

Vultures in Germany have lost their Freedom of Choice.  At a zoo in Germany where the zookeepers are of free spirit and believers in equality, two gay male vultures have been sharing the same exhibit for quite some time.  Getting ahold of this information, animal rights activists concerned about the extinction of vultures took action.  They orchestrated a legal mandate that the two boys be separated and forced to live and pro-create with female vultures.  The zookeepers had no choice but to acquiesce.

Get your free AK47s here.  A truck dealership in Florida held a promotion where any patron buying a new truck would receive a free semi-automatic weapon.  The proprietor assured that the proper waiting period and paperwork were involved with each weapon; he also reported that his sales increased 600% during the promotion…

Emma Thompson’s mother might be a witch!  How do we know this?  There are gargoyles and gnomes to prove it.  A couple of years ago, someone stole her two gargoyles from her front garden.  To deal with her loss and frustration, she posted a sign in the garden: “To the thief who took my cute little gargoyles – a curse on your house!”  Just recently, the two gargoyles magically returned to the front garden and were delivered with a note attached: “Please lift the curse, my life has been a living hell for the last two years.”  Grateful to have her “babies” back, she posted a new sign: “All curses lifted and garden order restored.”  Well, no one knows what exactly befell the thief over the 24 month period, but the rumors of bona fide witchcraft were afoot.  We learned about this only because one day last week, her garden made the news again when someone came in and smashed one of her garden gnomes, leaving small piles of colored ceramics where the gnome once stood.   The papers are now concerned for the well-being of the gnome smasher…