The Crazies on the 176

When the sun was out last week, I took the 176 (double decker bus) into town, Leister Square to be exact.  I did some shopping and stopped into Chinatown for Dim Sum and Tea.  Tummy full, shopping done, sun fading, I decided to jump back on the 176 and head home.  It is a much longer trip by bus, but it is cheaper and I bring a book to read.

Anyway, Crazy Number One:

Picture this.  A very posh, elderly British woman with matching hat, gloves, etc.  As she was crossing the street to get to the bus stop, I noticed she did a little jig.  Odd, I thought, but maybe she had just tripped and I didn’t perceive it correctly.  No, she did more dancing as she got up to the sidewalk.  She then started talking to herself aloud saying “St. James, no, Hampstead, no, oh dear, I’m lost. It’s ok, it’s ok, I’ll keep smiling.”  At this point I thought about asking her if she needed help, but then she stopped a passerby and pointed to the woman’s leg as though she had a run in her stocking or something of that nature.  Then the older British woman pantomimed shooting herself in the head with a gun.  I realized then, no, she is just plain crazy, impeccably dressed, but crazy.

Crazy Number Two:

A man who had been waiting for the same bus as I boarded with me and we both proceeded to go to the top of the bus.  Upstairs you get a much better view of the city and the journey isn’t as boring.  On our journey back to South London there are many, many churches.  Every time we passed a church he did the sign of the cross………twice.  At one point I thought he missed one and I was tempted to point that out, but as we passed the church he did the sign of the cross again……..twice.

Crazy Number Three:

Getting off the 176 in Sydenham I was hoping that Mr. Religion would stay on board and he did; however another passenger got off right ahead of me.  We’ll call him Mr. Spitter.  He spat every 10 feet or so…….crazy, but made me miss the lower-saliva-level fun of

Crazy Number Four:

At one of the stops, a portly, not at all tall, loony European woman had a very close relationship with one of her plastic bags.  She wasn't petting it or anything weird like that...no, she was just sucking on it.

This all happened on one bus ride, one way.  Never a dull moment on the 176.