Ryan Air

We decided to go to Germany for Thanksgiving last November and picked the Munich area as our destination.  We will blog all about the visit to Germany, but today’s story is only about how we got there!

So, ve vere going to go to Deutschland.  Next step was travel plans.  There are two European equivalents of Southwest Airlines: Easy Jet and Ryan Air.  Tickets are ridiculously cheap on Ryan Air, so that is what we chose.  Important note here – there are many reasons the airfare is inexpensive (our outbound flight was £29 per person and the return was £1 per person).  Checking a bag is £35 – more than the airfare!  So, we packed lightly for our 4-day holiday and shared one bag that was just under the weight limit.

The flight on Ryan Air was actually just fine, but over the course of the 110 minutes we saw things we never dreamed of seeing on an airplane!  It started with the cattle call boarding process, no surprises there except that it is truly first-come, first-served.  However, up until 5 minutes prior to boarding you can go to the kiosk at the gate and pay £19 for the privilege of jumping the line and getting on first.  Once on board and in flight, the announcements began.  The first was to review the menu printed on the seat in front of you (no seatback pockets so it’s all on the chairs!).  If we wanted any food or beverage, we were to flag down a flight attendant and place our order and pay for it.   After the “food service”, things went from odd to crazy to unbelievable.

The flight attendants went up and down the aisles carrying the “Girls of Ryan Air” 2012 Calendar – the main attendant was on the loud speaker to let us all know that for £20 we can own one of these precious works of art (turns out the money goes mostly to charity, but we didn’t know that at first). 

It occurred to us that if we had booked full baggage, tried to board early, bought any food or beverage, and secured that awesome calendar – our £60 total flight price for two would have jumped to £125.  But we were headed to a new country, so we were embracing the experience.  About 20 minutes prior to landing, here comes the main flight attendant with the final announcement (once in English and once in German):

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we would like to draw your attention to the flight attendants in the aisles.  If you would like to purchase Ryan Air Scratchers, you can get them for £1 each or 6 for £5 and have a chance to win fabulous prizes, including a £5,000 jackpot and free trips on Ryan Air.”  We looked at each other and found ourselves unable to speak.  Lotto tickets! It felt like they were going to come back in 5 minutes with “Peanuts! Popcorn! Get your hot peanuts here! Beer Here!” 

One has to wonder how things go at the Ryan Air Flight Attendant Training Center.  “OK trainees – we are going to learn how to evacuate 200+ passengers safely in an emergency, but first if you could pose for this calendar and then give us your best pitch for selling cotton candy, then we’ll get on with it.”

With all of that, we would still fly on Ryan Air – it was indeed inexpensive, very efficient, and safe.  Our only hope is that on the next flight they will ask for volunteers for the “Passengers of Ryan Air” 2013 Calendar.